Sleep

So here's the deal. K is one year old now, she's still breastfed, and she is still getting up three to four times a night... OR MORE! I have loved breastfeeding. LOVED IT! It's been so amazing and I'm really not ready to completely give it up. I enjoy the bond that Bug and I have because of it and I adore the quiet few minutes that I get to snuggle my otherwise busy toddler. But (yes there is a but...) I need some sleep. I really, and truly need some sleep. I would be totally happy with one or even two times a night but four and five times is really just too much. I feel like a walking zombie most days and I cannot keep living on coffee.

My problem.... I don't know what to do.

I don't know anyone that has been in the same situation. My best friends little guy is an AMAZING sleeper and has been since he was tiny. My sister in laws son self weaned at around nine months and truly not many of my other friends breastfed. Those that did all had pretty good sleepers. So what's a momma to do? I've read 3 different books, I don't like or don't see where the "solutions" these books offer will work for our family.

So many books and even those I've talked to say to have dad go in and comfort the baby well the times we've tried this it just makes her so angry that we end up with an even bigger and longer fight on our hands. Not to mention S is a very, very heavy sleeper and needs his sleep, the man works 14+ hours a day for goodness sake! Another suggestion we've had from K's doctor and lots of other moms I know is to just let her cry herself back to sleep. Well, we've been doing that, for months and things aren't changing. I was told that in a week or so that they would realize they don't need you to put them back to sleep and they would go to sleep on their own. Well that doesn't work for us.

Then I get on breastfeeding websites and everyone's talking about how it's normal and fine. That all babies are different and it's OK if your baby doesn't sleep through the night until they're three, four, five years old. That it doesn't bother these mom's because they co-sleep, or they enjoy the snuggle time, etc... Well maybe I'm a bad mom, but I'm exhausted. My tiredness is affecting my ability to play and enjoy my child throughout the day. I'm resenting her for getting up so many times. I'm snapping at my husband when I truly don't mean to. I need some goddamn sleep! Like I said if I could get her down to 2 times a night I would be THRILLED. I honestly don't mind getting up twice, we did that for like a month before she reverted back to the schedule we have now and I loved it, I was better rested, happier person. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. Maybe I'm a bad mom, maybe I'm selfish, but I really don't think I'm asking for too much here.

So if you're out there, reading this (by the way if you've made it this far through that bumbling mess, kudos to you!!!) and you have tips for a sleep deprived momma who doesn't want to give up breastfeeding all together but just wants a few extra hours of sleep. Well then I want to hear from you... email me, comment, something to help a girl out!!