Monday, November 14, 2011

Afternoon Out!

Yesterday S and I went on an afternoon date! YAYAYAYAY! We haven't been on a date in several months and it was so nice to be out with just the two of us! We went and had lunch at Chili's and then went to see Footloose.
While mommy and daddy were out enjoying our alone time, Miss K was here being entertained by three aunts and uncles and three cousins! She is so blessed to have so much family that loves her and wants to spend time with her! She was such a good girl for them and was such a happy little girl when we got home. I don't think she even missed us! Haha!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

attachment, self soothing, blah blah blah!

I have failed somewhere along the way to teach my daughter how to soothe herself. I don't know how or when but when this child is upset about something the ONLY way to calm her, is to nurse her. Which is heart-wrenching to a mommy who is attempting to do some weaning! If something wakes her up during a nap or in the night she is wide awake and there is nothing (NOTHING) I can do to calm her down, except nurse her. No amount of mommy shushing her, rocking her, telling her it will be ok, or back rubbing calms her down. It mostly just serves to piss her off even more. I don't know how we got here. Well, I do. I just can't imagine that I let it get here. I hoped that I could get her attached to something to help this process along. We tried a ribbie blanky, a stuffed animal, and a blanket, none of which she ever showed any interest in. We started putting them in her crib and putting my scent on them around 8 months and she could have cared less. I'm the only thing that can calm her. OH BOY!!

Am I the only mom who thinks things like "With the next baby I will do this, this and this" or "I have to remember to this differently next time so that we don't encounter 'X' situation"? I can't be, we have to learn from our "mistakes" right? Ugh. I hate writing posts like this because I feel like I'm admitting I was wrong, but I guess it's a growing and learning experience. Admitting I was wrong was never something I was good at before, I would fight to the bitter end, even knowing I was wrong just because I REFUSED to admit it. So I guess this is therapy! *wink, wink*

Monday, November 7, 2011

Have I told you??

Have I told you that I started a business not too long ago? I've been messing around making things for kids and decided to start putting it on facebook. So far I've been making tutu's, hair bows, holder for hair bows and some other things here and there. If you saw K-bugs birthday pictures you saw some of my work. I made her tutu, shirt, and her leggings! I'm pretty proud of it and have been enjoying it. So far I've made several bows for customers, seven tutu's and two hair bow holders! I'm loving every minute of it. Go check it out when you have some time. Click here to see The Littlest Ladybug. Of course the name was inspired by my sweet little "Bug"! <3

Sunday, November 6, 2011


So here's the deal. K is one year old now, she's still breastfed, and she is still getting up three to four times a night... OR MORE! I have loved breastfeeding. LOVED IT! It's been so amazing and I'm really not ready to completely give it up. I enjoy the bond that Bug and I have because of it and I adore the quiet few minutes that I get to snuggle my otherwise busy toddler. But (yes there is a but...) I need some sleep. I really, and truly need some sleep. I would be totally happy with one or even two times a night but four and five times is really just too much. I feel like a walking zombie most days and I cannot keep living on coffee.

My problem.... I don't know what to do.

I don't know anyone that has been in the same situation. My best friends little guy is an AMAZING sleeper and has been since he was tiny. My sister in laws son self weaned at around nine months and truly not many of my other friends breastfed. Those that did all had pretty good sleepers. So what's a momma to do? I've read 3 different books, I don't like or don't see where the "solutions" these books offer will work for our family.

So many books and even those I've talked to say to have dad go in and comfort the baby well the times we've tried this it just makes her so angry that we end up with an even bigger and longer fight on our hands. Not to mention S is a very, very heavy sleeper and needs his sleep, the man works 14+ hours a day for goodness sake! Another suggestion we've had from K's doctor and lots of other moms I know is to just let her cry herself back to sleep. Well, we've been doing that, for months and things aren't changing. I was told that in a week or so that they would realize they don't need you to put them back to sleep and they would go to sleep on their own. Well that doesn't work for us.

Then I get on breastfeeding websites and everyone's talking about how it's normal and fine. That all babies are different and it's OK if your baby doesn't sleep through the night until they're three, four, five years old. That it doesn't bother these mom's because they co-sleep, or they enjoy the snuggle time, etc... Well maybe I'm a bad mom, but I'm exhausted. My tiredness is affecting my ability to play and enjoy my child throughout the day. I'm resenting her for getting up so many times. I'm snapping at my husband when I truly don't mean to. I need some goddamn sleep! Like I said if I could get her down to 2 times a night I would be THRILLED. I honestly don't mind getting up twice, we did that for like a month before she reverted back to the schedule we have now and I loved it, I was better rested, happier person. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. Maybe I'm a bad mom, maybe I'm selfish, but I really don't think I'm asking for too much here.

So if you're out there, reading this (by the way if you've made it this far through that bumbling mess, kudos to you!!!) and you have tips for a sleep deprived momma who doesn't want to give up breastfeeding all together but just wants a few extra hours of sleep. Well then I want to hear from you... email me, comment, something to help a girl out!!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Birthday Pictures!

Way back on September 27th we were supposed to have K's pictures and some family shots taken for her first birthday, but thanks to the ridiculous amounts of rain we've had this fall we had to reschedule the shoot about 3 times! FINALLY yesterday we managed to get them done. Despite the wind gusts and 40 degree temperatures K stuck it out like a trooper! Our photographer Brie Homer posted a sneak peak on her FB page if you want to check it here! While you're over there make sure you "like" her! She was so great with K and really brought out some cute smiles! Can't wait to see the rest of the pictures in a few weeks!